Thursday, May 1, 2008

Why is awareness of breathing so important? I have come to realise that in breathing one remains here as the expression of oneness and equality as who I am. As realisation upon realisation come to pass, this ensures that the expression of life is not reduced to an expression of knowledge and information. It is just too easy to base your actions on prior realisations, knowledge or judgement. This is a stale existence. Mechanical. Acting in a mathematical fashion. If a=b, then c. This is the fashion in which the mind works. It is nothing more than a system. Just endless equations. The mind is never satisfied, only more equations keep it existing. Only when the mind stops, do we become free to express ourselves as the oneness of all of existence.
Then through self forgiveness, we are able to release this mind, that we have believed is who we are. These thoughts, feelings and emotions are all of this mind consciousness system. There is love, money, and fear to name a few of the systems that the mind has employed. For me, it would seem that love has been what has enslaved me more than any other system. The need to be loved, the search for love, the fear of losing loved ones, the need to spread love.

Taking a closer look at love reveals the true nature of this manifestation. We desire love because it makes us feel good inside, both for the giver and receiver. So we become dependent on this love to keep us feeling good. We believe that we can't live without love. That this love keeps us whole inside. We cannot stand as oursleves, independent. We are addicted to the feeling. It is a temporary feeling, that cannot be a constant condition of who we are. So we use this creation to mold our children into what we think they should be. Punishment when they are bad. Either hurt their feelings our their bodies. They run too us for comfort, and we are delighted to see that they depend on our love to make them feel good because it keeps us feeling good. It's just a method to make sure we will have an ample supply. Punish when they are "bad' and distribute when they are"good". This keeps the value high. For if they were free to honestly express themselves, there would be no need for the love that is inside of us, because there would be no need to feel better. This would make us feel unloved by our children and thus unworthy as parents. If the child has no need for our love, we feel hurt inside because there is no love for us inside the child. So we have withdrawl symptoms and this makes us despise the child for being independent, and "withholding" their love, or being stingy. So we lash out at the child until he finally gets with the program. Only when the child is completely dependent on us for love are we happy. This is also the same in any relationship. When a someone in a relationship angers another, the method of punishment, is withholding their love. This ensures the other will feel withdrawl symptoms and soon do as the other pleases, so as to gain their love once again. Of course this makes the originally angered person happy to feel loved once again. The concept of supply and demand is all it is.
I forgive myself for believing that if only someone could love me, then I would be forever happy.
I forgive myself for alowing myself to fall for love's promise of happiness time and time again.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to desire to be loved by pretty women.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that a pretty woman in my life would make me happy.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to believe that being in a relationship would do anything but assist me in staying enslaved by more systems.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to constantly desrie love and admiration from the world.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to feel a need to show the love inside of me, to attract more love into my life.
I forgive myself that I have used love to keep others enslaved and dependent on the love that exists within me.
I forgive myself that I have desired to be loved by the beautiful people of the world, and have repelled those that aren't pretty enough or good enough for the love that exists within me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to appear outwardly loving in order to be loved by the entire world.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be directed by the love that exists within.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be ruled by love.
I forgive myself that I have used love as a reward/punishment system in order to force people or animals into being as I would like them to be.
I forgive myself for allowing love to become my god.
I forgive myself that I have always gone the extra distance, just so that I could be more loved for the things I do well.
I forgive myself for allowing love to exist within.

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