Friday, May 2, 2008

There is some resistance in this process of self realisation. As people judge the words I speak with prior knowledge of what they believe the truth to be. How could I, who had been so lost just a few weeks ago, be so sure about the statements that I make? As if I'm making claims to knowledge that I believe to be true instead of my expression of who I am in the moment that the statements are made. There is a slight frustration within me as I struggle to just be in the moment and not try to justify my statements as "correct". To just be here in every moment of every breath. Yes the stakes seem to get higher as the world that has been manifested by me, confronts me on every level. This only assists me in releasing the frustrations that exist within me, however, and is only opportunity to be one and equal with all of existence. I am quite aware that the doubts that exist within myself are manifested within my world, and only come at me to practice trust in who I am. Yes, I have many doubts as to who I really am. I have no answers as to the truth of all of existence. Only what I know to be the true expression of who I am in every moment. This is not knowledge; only expression. The experience of myself as the world that exists within me. The awareness of breath is a key tool in remaining here in every moment. Although very trying, to remain silent within, I recognise the importance of awareness of myself. Becoming tired is another obstacle that confronts me as the frustration that exists within me is so persistant in trying to emerge to direct me in my actions.
I forgive myself for allowing frustration to have so much power over me.
I forgive myself for believing that frustration has any real power over me to just be here in every moment of every breath.
I release this frustration and choose to be here as who I am as one and equal to all of existence.
I stand as me and remain here as the breath of life.
I experience myself as who I am in this moment.
I forgive myself for allowing myself to experience frustration, which is nothing more than a system that I have allowed myself to believe needs to be present within me.
I forgive myself that I have believed that I need to compensate for this frustration by changing the minds of the people within my world.
I forgive myself for believing that changing the minds of others will do anything less than perpetuating their minds.
I forgvie myself that I have not realised that I myself have perpetuated this frustration within me, and have directed my attention to fixing the world, instead of just being here in every moment.
I forgive myself that I have not realised that it is within me that the world is created, and this frustration within myself is the frustration that I, alone have allowed to exist and direct me instead me directing myself in this very moment.
I am thankful of this forgiveness process, as it is key in my own realisation.
I forgive myself for believing that if I could just get people to realise their own self honesty, that it will do anything to assist me in releasing the frustration that exists within me.
I forgive myself for allowing this frustration to remain within me, as it is not necessary in the realistion of myself as the expression of life within self-honesty.

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