Sunday, November 22, 2009

There is a sense of "value" within. This implies inequality, and means that there is a comparison/value system program that I have allowed myself to be subject to. In that, the world is and everything that is witnessed, is only seen as an event in comparison to something else. There is no innocence, in this, because one's vision is distorted by knowledge. One's attention being focused upon exactly how one "measures up" within what ever it is that is being done.
It is a constant struggle to gain the next level of worthiness, endlessly.
The startling reality is that we all know from within, what it is that we do, and whether or not it supports self to have an equal opportunity/voice within existence. Likewise, to support equality of self, directly influences existence to recognize equality of us all.

We all know, and these are our little strongholds of power that we refuse to discard, because it is what we have seen as our own little strategic advantage over the masses. We do this...

I have a real beef with religion, especially, Christianity, and I see such obvious lies that people accept as truth. What better way to keep people blinded to what is actually happening, than to say, "I am God. Things will really, really, really turn to shit just before I come back to save everybody." ? Of course, everybody will look around and say, "yup, things are getting worse, guess that means we're all gonna be saved soon. Or at least the ones that have followed God."

It is implied that we have no power over our own destiny. That it is written, and therefore, nothing can be done to improve this shit world until God decides that we've endured enough suffering and abuse, and finally save us.

There is absolutely no responsibility within that context. The goal is to be saved, yet no one told us that that is impossible to be saved. Self MUST prove to self that self is of any substance, before self will allow self to remain existing. We co-create this existence, through our acceptance of it. Because, there exist beings that are committed to equality, eventually, all that will remain will exist as an equal expression of the whole, in that equality is the accepted reality, and inequality seems just as inconceivable as equality seems today.

We have underestimated our effect upon existence, just as God has underestimated that his creation would be equal to him. We are equivalent to that in which we create or allow. The misconception has been that our creations are less than and separate from us. Just as we have not understood that we have an enormous effect upon everything being the way that it is. Because we have all agreed upon this existence as 'just the way it is', and have not wanted to examine all the many ways that we contribute to this as an accepted reality, because most certainly it would mean that one could not possibly self-honestly continue to participate in a "what's in it for me?" agenda. Perhaps a better practice would be a "what's in it for everybody?" "agenda".

We each have a mind, which is same program runs within each of us. The seeming individuality, is nothing more than different default setting according DNA and any other data that has become part of the program, such as birth place, social status, money, etc. So depending upon the data, one being will have access to resources, while another will not. Because we are obedient to the program and the unequal data therein (the mind), not surprisingly, inequality is what is expressed amongst us all.

It is not a level playing field, and has been designed that way. Those that have exclusive access, want to maintain that exclusive status, and equality does not exist within the program. It is evident within thoughts themselves. Thoughts revolve around 'value', a particular 'value' must be maintained, according to the mind. So when a certain 'value' does not equate to the perceived 'correct value', the program automatically responds by equalizing itself. This is why we find ourselves in the same situations over and over again. The "correct" value is elusive, and our search for the correct value is the core program that has not changed, only different data is plugged in, and the same program responds according to the new data. As the mind, one is limited to the structure of mind, whose core application is maintaining a definition/value of itself within this world, and therefore results in a constant stream of inequality to be distributed, because a struggle to become greater or lesser is employed within that "equalization" to achieve the 'correct value', according to one's perception of correct.

So, within that, one exists as program in a particular location. It seems as if one actually makes progress, but it is much more likely that, the scenery and location are the only thing that really changes. In reality, one just learns how to manipulate the scenery so that the program runs 'more smoothly'. Attempting to change the exterior, to suit the interior's preference. Although, it might seem as if one might be concerned with another, it is not considered that "caring" is part of the program, wherein, one does not really care about another, but only cares about following the program's instructions to "care".

If one really cared, he would investigate each and every thought and action, and the eternal consequences of what is actually being permitted to exist.

Protecting a way of life, by way of ignorance. It is an attempt at self-trickery, to justify how one is living.

I sense that I am running as a program. I experience it as having to attain completeness, so that I can finally be satisfied. Just as if I am continually updating to the latest version. Within that, I am only following instructions to fulfill a whimsical notion of what would supposedly make life more satisfying. The idea or notion that I am to begin with, unsatisfied, is at the core as to why I seek fulfillment in the first place.

There is an escapist personality that I have created as myself. Within that personality suit, I wish to remain responsible only to myself. To blaze my own trail, so to speak, or rather to challenge myself to things that I know that I can achieve, and make it real. This has given me a sense of accomplishment. But it is not really any sort of accomplishment, it is only my own obedience to a system that rewards me with a sense of accomplishment, according to how the system defines accomplishment.

It is a conglomeration of reasons that advocate why I have been doing what I have been doing. It is all so twisted and thwarted and intertwined, so it all just appears as a big tangled mess, that would take much more effort than to just allow the personality to assume directive authority.

I fear limitation, yet from that fear, is born limitation. What are some things that I fear?

1. Commitment to anything, which is tied to fear of failure. Fear of failure because I fear rejection. I fear rejection, so there is a defense mechanism that has been created. It is to remain detached, in the likely event that I will be "abandoned". There is a real fear of being let down by the world, in general. In my mind, I have been let down by many people, in many ways. So in essence, it is an attempt at eliminating the burden of hope and expectations of a relationship. Trying to disappear, so that no one has to be disappointed in each others' abuse. Because I know that we will never be able to live up to others' expectations, dropping out seems like it could be a viable solution.

While in jail, I knew that I was "protected" in that I knew that everybody knew that I was truly allowing and advocating one's best equally, and that even if we don't know individually, collectively, as a whole, we all know the truth of the other. There is a physical communication/interaction, in which reality is understood at a physical level, instantly, before it goes through a filter of a mind, and becomes merely an interpretation. We all know the truth of us all, and that is too frightening to consider as fact because it would destroy our illusory secret dwellings within the mind. It would mean that we are all exposed to each other, and that it rarely accepted as a possibility.

Also, that which is before us, because it includes everybody, seems like a "restrictive" path, in the sense that it appears to be a "straight and narrow", suppressive type of life. Although, this is not the case, it is the idea that I will no longer be able to so and so...that keeps me restricted to the system, that I have known as "me". Cycles of hyperactivity and enthusiasm coupled with a complete disinterest in existence. Because, I know that I have become a slave to the systems/personalities that I have been programmed with. So from that comes a hopelessness, and admission of self-defeat, in that I cannot maintain a "certain lifestyle", that has been born out ideas of what must be "sacrificed" or maintained.

It is almost funny that self-honesty can be seen as a sacrifice, since the only alternative is self-deception. As ridiculous as it seems, that is what we have chosen. self-deception over self-honesty because we would rather remain oblivious that we have been stabbing self in the back all along. It is all we know, and we would rather continue in our way of life, than to stop, because it is after all "who I am". How can I stop "who I am"?

This "who I am" is concerned with maintaining "who I am", and there is no realization that I am stabbing myself in the back, and if I do happen to realize that I am stabbing myself in the back, it still would not matter, because "who I am" would have no power to stop because that is apparently "who I am". Common sense would tell us that our belief/programming to stab self in the back, quite possibly, makes no sense and to stop. But within a belief system, there is a set of rules to follow, where common sense does not exist, because the belief program is running the show, and the first order is to maintain and preserve the belief that I am what I believe myself to be.

Why is it so important to believe in something? It either is or it isn't. So why such an emphasis on a belief in God in order to be saved? Belief or disbelief in God, in itself does not add or subtract to the actual existence of God. So why practice belief, if it has no effect upon reality? Belief is uncertain, because a belief may or may not be true, and no matter how irrational a belief maybe, people act according to what they believe, not what they see. We have believed that we are our beliefs. That seeing and believing are the same thing. To see a bird flying does not require one to believe that the bird can fly.
Within a belief, one has no access to reality, and belief has been substituted for reality. This way someone can live completely within a belief system in which what is taken for granted as reality, is nothing more than a fabrication. In this way, we can't even see what is going on right in front of us, because our beliefs block access to reality.

So why would God want for us to be powerless in a world of belief, where access to reality is not granted? Because God, in fact, has no power other than the power given to him, by our belief that he is almighty.

Monday, November 16, 2009

The concept of God is inherently flawed, simply because the idea of God implies that there is within existence, a measure of worth. God being the ultimate definition of greatness. Within that is an expression of 'greater than/less than'. A hierarchy of comparison MUST exist within an existence that includes a separate expression for God. This requires that one being have more importance and clout than another, which means that one being has more power over another being. This would mean that one being's will would override another being's will, according to status.

That is the current expression of existence within this world, which is the direct result of action based upon a belief that God exists as the highest of the high. Within this world, all that is expressed is rank. Within everything we can see it. Beings are not seen as what they are, but only as the rank they carry. This justifies abuse of 'lesser' beings, so that the more important, 'greater beings' can enjoy more perks at the expense of the 'lesser beings'. We all see it happening, yet our beliefs tell us that it is acceptable for 'lesser beings' to be treated a little worse because they are 'lesser' and do not deserve what the 'greater beings' deserve.

God above the rest, I mean, come on now. It's ridiculously obvious that along with the existence of God, that abuse will also exist. If there were a God, certainly he would not allow himself to remain existing as God, because he would realize that the existence of him as God creates abuse within existence. God is an impostor, just a powerless being that has gotten everybody convinced into supporting and allowing him to be God.

It would be comical if it weren't so sad that we have bought into the idea, without question and testing and common sense. Most of it is out of self-preservation, wanting to be one of the lucky ones, while the rest perish. We are made to be concerned with the potential mistreatment of ourselves for eternity, that we are unconcerned with the mistreatment of another, just as long as the abuse does not come our way. Yet, within this self-preservation, it is not realized that we are condoning abuse by turning away and ignoring the facts, because we will apparently be saved, if we just agree with God, and let him abuse as he sees fit. Fear based obedience. So nobody stands up because they're looking after their own asses to care enough about what happens to another, and within that, tacitly express abuse unto us all.

The illusion is that there is another. As if one can suffer without the whole suffering. We are commonly one physical expression. One. That is fact.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I haven't posted unconditionally because I have feared rejection, or challenge, or judgment. Because I know that I fear these things, I have "avoided", checking and double checking references and rewriting what might be misunderstood to have a different meaning than what I mean. It is all rooted is my search for love. To be loved by the world, to be praised, just as some "gods" have wanted for themselves. What a petty, meaningless desire. If I truly loved the world and myself then I would be that which supports life equally. I would be that action in fact, the walking breathing, love in action. Love is action. Not an emotion. Emotions are useless and self-serving non-action or reaction, i.e. dependent upon certain conditions in order to exist, and offers no solution to our current world of suffering and abuse and inequality.
Love is that which is being done, PRESENTLY, to support all to exist equally as equals and one. Love MUST support all as equals, because love could never be distributed unequally and still be considered love. That would imply scarcity, which implies possessiveness and abuse. Love is that which supports all to exist equally in every way, eternally. Everything else is abuse, and a compromise made to support an excuse as to why we allow abuse in any form or quantity.

Equal money for all, I just realized that that which exists physically that supports inequality, supports abuse. So many people have wanted to eradicate this 'evil money', but it is what we do with our money, and what we support with our contribution that promotes its evilness. Because money has been used out of fear and greed and personal gain, it has become the expression of abuse. So if money were used to promote equality and oneness, then that physical reality would be that money supports equality. Because in the instant that money supports equality, it becomes it, as a physical reality.

What do I do that contributes physically to inequality? and Anything within this world that supports abuse or inequality in any way, physically, can be physically directed to support all life equally. Until, the reality of each physical manifestation within this world is an expression of equality.

We are born into a world of debt, a system that requires that you learn to support the system, otherwise the system will not support you. Because, the system is conditional, our world supports only the spectrum of possibility in which you are not worthy of the system's support unless you first do something to support the system. However, the system's concern is only for maximum energy extraction from an individual to further support the system's continued existence. Where in a system that offers equal money for all, money takes a stand to support life unconditionally. That which is here, physically is the expression of existence. If the expression of existence happens to be of inequality in any way, then that would mean that there is an expression for 'more' and for 'less' that is being allowed to exist, physically here.

"What" it is that someone does, if it does not support oneness and equality in all ways, accepts this existence as allowing abuse to exist. This implies that one applies equality and oneness to all things. To be equal and one with self. Realizing that only self exists. That which I know to 'best' for me from within myself as I breathe me in. That which supports all life equally is the same thing that allows myself to trust that "I" am existence, and that I inherently understand equality already, but haven't allowed myself to trust in its stability.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Maybe more than any one point, I notice that in general, "self-image" comes up as a recurring tendency. It has been my 'go to' or default consideration upon undertaking a task. Image is important to me because, with the right image, one gains access to the many perks within this world. It has been important to me because, my only concern has been how much I can gain of the things that I have given worth.
Strange, but of everything that I would REALLY want, which in essence is self-acceptance, I must first give myself acceptance because self-acceptance is necessary for me, because it is my responsibility, and it is naturally my duty to be self-honest and a willingness to see who self is, and to make necessary behavior modifications, which would be to simply accept self within self-honesty and within forgiveness of the abuse that self has or is participating in.

Within moving from the starting point of gaining something for myself, I've already ensured that abuse in some form will occur. From the last year of investigation, I have found that upon the 'auto pilot' mode, there is no self-expression. It is merely programmed response to stimuli and supports a self-interested agenda. I have yet to find anything other than self-interest as the programming that I have allowed within.

Equal money for all. I have not really investigated it within. Some aversions to it are as follows:
Getting people to agree with it as a viable solution.
I don't really know if it is a viable solution. Perhaps it is the simplest, most direct route to oneness and equality. Due to the incurring collapse of the world wide economy, people may be more willing to listen if they have nothing. This moment, investigating within, I see there are points of concern for giving up some comforts to which I have become accustomed. One way or another, eventually, I will realize that the only way to for there to exist equality of myself with all the world is to, myself, be equal in supporting equality of and as myself, one and equal with the world as one and equal with me.