Friday, January 8, 2010
What is here? BREATH is here. Who I am breathes here.
I hear it said often, that everybody should be allowed to do anything they want as long as they are not hurting anybody else. I'm quite sure that this has rarely been said by anybody with any awareness of what that statement implies. Because we are, in fact, each other, and that means that in order for that statement to ring true, a being must be self-honest. Otherwise, it is just an empty statement. Because there are consequences to every action, down to the most precise detail, and a being would have to be willing to take into consideration, EVERYTHING that is participated in, and how it affects existence, eternally.
That is called self-responsiblity. Which includes doing whatever it takes to stop ALL abuse from within and without. It is ABSOLUTE dedication to self and existence to expose all self-dishonesty from within each and every being in existence and to stop participating in the dishonesty revealed, immediately. It is obvious that most are not willing to part with the dishonest patterns that a person limits himself to.
I see that when self-dishonesty is dealt with in self-honesty, the reaction is disabled. That same reaction will continue to offer its services, so that I can face the point, until I can be certain that that pattern no longer exists within. So what is required is to stop absolutely. What does that mean? ABSOLUTELY. It means to no longer participate in that reaction, period. It means that a person is no longer creating new patterns of self-dishonesty, and as old patterns and tendencies are dealt with, self-honestly, the dishonest patterns diminish steadily, until there exists only self.
The key is within a self-honest statement. It must be an absolute statement, that I will do whatever it takes. The most difficult part is to actually make that statement, because the mind will suggest that it cannot be done. That is because, me, as the mind, wants to remain existing as the mind, and so making that statement is difficult because I know within that that would mean no compromise.
Although that seems incredibly difficult to do, it is really not so hard if I am honest with myself, because once that statement is made, it becomes a part of me, and in that, it becomes easier and easier to remain honest with who I am. It only takes a moment to make that statement and instantly become unable to return to living within and as self-dishonesty.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Okay, next point, fear of confrontation, where I am concerned with being the definition of a nice guy. The most frustrating thing for me has been trying to get people to hear. So, I see that I am scared of losing relationships, and it just occurred to me that a relationship is based in the past, a definition, attached to a concept of who a person is perceived to be, and in which "he" is defined by the terms of the relationship, itself. Maintaining a relationship, holds both people within a repeating pattern of boundaries, treaties, and mutually accepted self-dishonesty.
Since I feared losing a relationship, I have compromised who I am in order to establish rules, which is an agreement that we will both allow each other to live within specifc limited ways of interacting that allows us both to deceive ourselves, and fortify the enslavement of the other. In that way, we become intertwined within a repeating pattern, and eventually get sick and tired of the living within the boundaries of those limitations and self-abuse. Because the relationship is based upon suppression, before long, someone breaks one of the rules or boundaries that were established. This creates animosity, followed by spite, and voila; a variation of of the same cycle is born.
The initial aim starts as a conquest to enslave another being to me. Of course, I also enslave myself in the process, and because I am so disgusted in myself for not standing as myself , the relationship goes toward the downswing side, and I just want out of the abusive cycle. So then I look for ways out of this cycle, which leads to more abuse in the form of sabotage. Within this mindset, apparently I am getting revenge for taking advantage of my "kindness". While in reality, I started the cycle of abuse upon myself to begin with, by my allowance and agreement of it to begin.
This appears to be the beginning of the end of my relationships. Self-dishonest beings do not wish to be exposed, and self-honest beings expose dishonesty, so resistance in hearing what is actually being said is inevitable.
The relationships I currently have will all fail, because I do not allow limitation of self by participating in the pre-existing pattern, that has been established from the beginning. This will leave leave me with nothing left to lose of a relationship, so that I can establish a new agreement, which is self-honesty in every moment of every breath.But the relationship only exists within myself, as a defintion in which I am clinging to. The moment I let go of the effort required to maintain a relationship is the moment that the relationship is dead.
It is frustrating for me when I perceive myself to be waiting for a person to see. In my impatience with the natural outflow of events, I find that I become restless, instead of realizing that I am this physical HERE. For some, it will require that the physical conditions become so unbearably uncomfortable, before they will realize that the physical reality is the only issue of any substance. Conditions will have to reach to a level of universal economic collapse, so that the physical suffering is significant enough to be felt by the elites of this world, and an equal money system is agreed upon.
Until we can all agree that the physical is who we are, and that what is allowed within the physical is what we allow ourselves to become, we will all continue to suffer.