Sunday, June 29, 2008

So no one has been willing to stand up as themselves as all as one as equal, no matter what. There is always some excuse that we use to not stand up here. We think we need something we have allowed deception to overrule self as the self honest expression of who we are. Our programming is nothing but a program, a finite construct, yet we have excused ourselves of our resposiblity toward ourselves, because of the hardship that is required in standing as all as one as equal. We will do it if it is easy and someone gives us permission, yet when it get even a little tough on one's pretty little world, we have stood down and sold ourselves out as cowards. "I can't do it on my own", we have said to ourselves. "It's too hard." I know this because I am as everyone else in this line of non action. Allowing the horror to continue over something as small as what they will say about me. So we stand down and allow the horror because we are too embarrassed to continue standing. We are to worried about the comforts that we might lose; our social standing, fear of inprisonment, fear of death, fear of the unknown, fear of being ourselves, fear of ourselves.
We want more of everything before we can just stand up. More money, more sex, more love, more acceptance, more understanding, more enlightenment, more support, more assistance. Fuck it all. We need no one but ourselves to be here. So it is time to stand up and remain standing...Fuck anyone that gets in the way of us as one and equal. We want to compromise and keep our attachments to this world, going half way. Hanging on to our current relationships out of fear of resistance of being who we know ourselves to be. The very resistance that keeps us enslaved is the very resistance that is ourself. Embrace it, for it is within embracing that one stands as one and equal with everything that one has allowed oneself to become. What is resisted persists. This conflict within to avoid resistance is our enslavement. There exists no conflict when there is only one voice. One expression. Self forgiveness within self honesty, here, as one and equal to existence.

Friday, June 27, 2008

I mean, really how would one want to exist as self? When all have vanished and only you remain? When one realises there is only you in existence? When ONE realises that I am existence one and equal. Would there be a reason to impress yourself? Or to fear yourself? Or to ignore you? You as who exists as all that exist.? Would one realise that all is known of existence by all of existence? That there are no secrets, only suppresion of that of which is already known by all. We only hide ourselves from ourselves and allow ourselves to be deceived by ourselves as a mind consciousness sysem. All is plain to see, yet we pretend not to know out fear of ourselves.
It is who we have allowed ourselves to become deceived out of our own paricipation

No conclusions. Conclusion is of the mind. It wavers one's attention as to who is here. All conclusions are knowledge of the past which does not pertain to here. Here is all that exists; in other words; the origin as self. The energy that surrounds one is all that exists to distract us from who one really is. One realises that HERE is self as self as one and equal to existence.
So every action is a reflection of what will persist as self indefinetly. If a system of conscienceness exists within, then it will remain within indefinelty. It is the root that continues to grow fruit as long as it exists within. The cycle of death and rebirth of that essence in which is represented. such as the continued obligation that one has allowed to obey "the rules of captal letters."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as though I "need" to capitalize letters according to someone's interpretaion of what is allowed.

the body, as to who one is as one and equal to the communication as self to self. Within self trust, one realises that in remaining here...the body will communicate as one and equal to who exists as the self that remains here in breath. The self honest expression of who exists within, is the realisation that one can trust in oneself to remain as who one really is. One and equal to the body and the mind, yet stable as who one really is HERE.. Heresy-the denial of self to direct self as self. Ideas are of the mind, and exist as self exists here. Alone, yet ONE as self, as who is here. Denial exists as deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny who I am as here and allow the MCS to control who I am as here.

I remain here. All else is separation of myself from the MCS. The mind asssist in supporting me by being mind for me to realise myself as who I am ALONE.
The mind presents an environment for one to direct oneself from within as who one exists as. It is only ourselves as who is within that directs this world that I lives within. Nothing exists beyond self here. All else fades into non-existence. The nature of who I am here, is the nature of all that can exist indefinitely, unconditionally. All else disappears when one remains AS here and only I remains.

Self honesty is the trust that one is certain that self is self honest, and that all that can exist here is self honesty. For nothing can exist within, save for self honesty when one remains here as here. Not withstanding of the mind, but only as here as self honesty.
The mind is not the directive of who I am or what I allow. i allow me to exist as who I exist as, by either riding on the back of where the mind is going or remaining here as breath within self honesty. That is all the I direct. The act of "choosing" to remain here. Not re-acting that in which is presented, but acting as who is here.
So I ordered some salvia last a spur of the moment decision. I had planned on smoking it almost as soon as it got here, so I watched Talamon's videos on his experiences with it, but then I read Bernard's post about bombing the mind while on salvia, which he wrote about, a few hours after I had purchased it. I've never tried salvia before and hadn't had any plans to partake previoulsy, and after I had read that one could fuck the mind in quantum transcendence, I started questioning the possibilty of me actually assisting in the upgrade of the MCS, quantumly, by smoking it while not being completely stable. So in essence fucking everybody's chance to get this process completed in this lifetime, by acting as the new program download of the mind consciouness system. Because I could be 99 percent stable and really fuck everybody even worse by entering into the MCS, perceived truths, that I may or may not have realised or transcended yet.
I wondered if Bernard was urging me to direct myself to sell my house and head to South Africa for an uncertain amount of time and to do the salvia thing. Which I would, in a heatbeat, do if it is feasible in assisting us all in the compressing of our process. But, nonetheless, the chain of events has compressed my process for the moment, as I have realised that it will be necessary to allow complete almagamation of myself as one and equal to existence in order for this process to have any chance of being realised within a lifetime. This has empasized the importance of remaining here as breath, as the moment here, for me. I recognise that I have had certain patterns of becoming entirely enthralled in an activity or way of being, only to realise that that in which I had previously believed to be the perfect activity or relationship to realise heaven on earth had faded into the background. As these things, such as rock climbing, or guitar playing or "the perfect girl", or spiritual or religious beliefs have all been largely, if not entirely fueled by the mind. Which I have come to realise that anything that is of the mind fades into non-existence. For the simple fact is that anything that has not always been, is only a temporary condition. So this breaks it down. What is it that has always existed but what has always existed? All that is here IS and always has been and always will be here. What is HERE is the only constant. What is here is all that is unconditional, neither created or destroyed. So it is HERE that I remain. I AM here. I breathe.

Friday, June 13, 2008

It was about 2 years ago that I went to jail in Grants Pass, and once again I have realised the same thing. Which is...that if we could see from a point of all knowing, that we would accept nothing less than the honest expression of ourselves and others as who we really are within this very moment. I realised that if we knew better then we would all have already forgiven each other for all that we have felt we have done to one another, and that within this very moment we would like nothing better than to see one another stand as ourselves as the honest expression of who we are. This is all the encouragement I needed to stand as myself, as I realsied that we were here for each other to reveal the being that is behind the masks that in which we hide.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The mind tells us that we must figure something out, make something better, define what we are, and make it so that we can always know who we are. We try to form our ideas into a concrete image ourselves, so that we may feel as if we have an identity. We feel like we must be able to capture or put our finger on exactly what we are, then as soon as we know, then we will be able to act.
Who we are is already here as who we are, and there is nothing that can ever be done about that. Trying to change that is what has gotten us into this mess in the first place, because it employs the mind which has only fed the illusion that we are separate form the world in which we live. It is only through total acceptance of ourselves within self honesty do we realise who we have allowed oursleves to become. No, not trying to realise ourselves...but accepting what it is that we have allowed ourselves to exist as. When we have realised ourselves, we become aware of our predicament.
When we have realised that the mind has deceived us, then it is time to stop the mind. Not by trying to figure out a way to stop it, because that only employs the mind still further. It is only through refusal to particicpate in and as the mind that we realise ourselves. The mind will fight every step of the way to remain within and as us. it will tell us that we must listen to it, for how is it possible to get anything done without the mind? How is it possible to understand anything without the mind?
Knowing is not thinking. Thinking involves a system that is bound by the limitations of a machine. Knowing is the complete understanding in an instant, with no thought or effort in trying to come up with an answer. This is the nature of life, seeing direct. Realisation without any effort to realise. Life directing life.