Friday, June 27, 2008

So I ordered some salvia last a spur of the moment decision. I had planned on smoking it almost as soon as it got here, so I watched Talamon's videos on his experiences with it, but then I read Bernard's post about bombing the mind while on salvia, which he wrote about, a few hours after I had purchased it. I've never tried salvia before and hadn't had any plans to partake previoulsy, and after I had read that one could fuck the mind in quantum transcendence, I started questioning the possibilty of me actually assisting in the upgrade of the MCS, quantumly, by smoking it while not being completely stable. So in essence fucking everybody's chance to get this process completed in this lifetime, by acting as the new program download of the mind consciouness system. Because I could be 99 percent stable and really fuck everybody even worse by entering into the MCS, perceived truths, that I may or may not have realised or transcended yet.
I wondered if Bernard was urging me to direct myself to sell my house and head to South Africa for an uncertain amount of time and to do the salvia thing. Which I would, in a heatbeat, do if it is feasible in assisting us all in the compressing of our process. But, nonetheless, the chain of events has compressed my process for the moment, as I have realised that it will be necessary to allow complete almagamation of myself as one and equal to existence in order for this process to have any chance of being realised within a lifetime. This has empasized the importance of remaining here as breath, as the moment here, for me. I recognise that I have had certain patterns of becoming entirely enthralled in an activity or way of being, only to realise that that in which I had previously believed to be the perfect activity or relationship to realise heaven on earth had faded into the background. As these things, such as rock climbing, or guitar playing or "the perfect girl", or spiritual or religious beliefs have all been largely, if not entirely fueled by the mind. Which I have come to realise that anything that is of the mind fades into non-existence. For the simple fact is that anything that has not always been, is only a temporary condition. So this breaks it down. What is it that has always existed but what has always existed? All that is here IS and always has been and always will be here. What is HERE is the only constant. What is here is all that is unconditional, neither created or destroyed. So it is HERE that I remain. I AM here. I breathe.

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