Sunday, May 18, 2008

I have been asking myself questions about living as the honest expression of me as all as one as equal. Just allowing life to direct me. This would involve being here and living within this very moment as life of life. What exactly does this mean?... Being anything besides who I am in this very moment is an impossibility. If I were to look at the situation honestly, I would realise that in allowing life to direct me, I become one with life. That to pick and choose what is of life is but a futile attempt at rationalisation of life. It is still within this very moment that life is lived. Having thoughts of leaving society or attempting to rid myself of dependence of society and money is the very thing that has kept me enslaved to these very manifestations that I have let rule over me in the first place. This does not compute within and as the mind. Which is the reason for my perplexity in how I should conduct myself in the future. Trying to pick a path that is one and equal with life is but a contradiction in the very nature of life. There is still only this moment in which to live. How I am to conduct myself is to be conducted within every moment and not figured out beforehand. That type of behaviour is a program. Life decides how life shall be lived. We have, through our insecurities of what may or may not happen, have attepmted to dominate over life. To control life. To make life predictable in an effort to be secure.
This could be interpretted as foolishness. But what life would have us do might not make any sense at all. Why does a squirrel collect nuts before winter is at hand. Does he continually live in stress, constantly wondering if he's going to have enough stores for the winter? Common sense would tell me that he is directed by life to collect nuts, so he collects nuts. This is his only direction within the moment, and in being directed by life, he is supports life. Often enough, the squirrel may become a meal for a fox or a hawk. Is this to say that either life is more important than the other? Absolutely not. Life directs life to consume and be consumed by life. This is the natural order of things. It is our own unwillingness to be directed by life, out of fear of death that keeps us enslaved. We have believed that only certain ways of dying are acceptable. That we are above nature. That in choosing the way in which we die is better than allowing nature to consume us. We have chosen to remove ourselves from nature. We would rather put our bodies within a box or cremate it, to remove the flesh, that is our bodies, from supporting the very life that has supported us.

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