This whole illusion that we experience is brought forth by our search for something more. Each and every quest that we engage in is the actual cause of our illusion. Because we look elsewhere for an answer, we have created the illusion that there is an answer. It is an imaginary concept that we believe to be real. We are bombarded by our own beliefs that we must get somewhere, and the idea holds our attention, and as a result we miss what is actually here.

Within every search for understanding lies the very cause of our illusion that there is anything in existence that we need. The pain we experience drives us to search for a way for the pain to stop. So when we allow ourselves to be directed by the idea of a better or more pleasant experience, we follow this idea, and we find a pleasant or grandiose experience, that always fades. So our quest, once again, becomes finding "happiness". Our attention is diverted to an idea; something that does not exist anywhere but in our imagination, and in this we miss ourselves here, effectively living in an imaginary world within our minds.

In my case, the major idea that has held my attention is everybody loving me, and treating me oh so wonderfully, and likewise me being able to love everybody that loves me. So for my entire life, I've looked everywhere for this love, and I have found that is nothing but an idea, that I have believed can be found somewhere, but it has only existed as according to my definition of it. Sure there have been moments of feeling good and wonderful, and happy, and we've all wanted the positive to exist forever, but it always fades, and what are we left with, but the flip side of the coin, the negative. Sadness, loneliness, disgust, pain and suffering. This is all because we have defined what is of more worth than something else. When what we have defined as positive leaves us, we focus upon getting and maintaining it. So the moment here is spent somewhere in the mind exploring ways that it can be achieved, and what is here is totally disregarded. The more we allow this search to drive us, the more we miss who we are here, and the more we become bound by the ideas that shackle us to the illusion of something grander and more exciting than just being here.

Happiness is a farce, since the definition of happiness changes and evolves along with our concept of happiness. When we believe we have found happiness, we find that this happiness gets ordinary, and we need something more. It is nothing more than an idea, that has not an iota of care for us. It is only interested in feeding itself so that it may continue to exist. There is nothing that it will not do to get from us what it needs. Which is our participation in its energy that it has so cleverly disguised as having some value to us. It means something different for each and everyone of us. One person's idea maybe to be able to rape little girls, while another's idea may be that more love is the answer.

Each of these pursuits are equally vile. It doesn't matter, because it is all the same energy. It is all born of the same insatiable creature, which is the pursuit to exist infinitely. Energy, sex, fear, money, greed, sadness, pain, love, happiness, peace, satisfaction, fulfillment, fame, power, status, sanity, comfort, relationships, strength, security, beauty, health, understanding, God, enlightenment. It matters not to an idea. The ideas sole purpose is to exist, and it will use and abuse us as it will to remain existing; and as long as we are willing participants in ideas, we support its continued existence, and along with it, the atrocities and suffering of the world will continue. Because within each idea is its polar opposite that must also exist in order for the other to exist. Good cannot exist without bad. Beauty cannot exist without ugliness.

The design is simple; what fulfills one's appetite, causes another to go hungry. An endless chain reaction. Each one takes another's concept of happiness away to gain their own idea of happiness or fulfillment, without considering that when one gains, another loses. So the suffering continues because each is following their own self-interested idea of what will make them happier, or fulfill their own belief that something is needed.

For instance, the rapist follows his own idea of satisfaction, and the victim follows her own idea of satisfaction. The rapist's starting point is the fulfillment of a fantasy. The victim's starting point is the fulfillment of the idea of being safe and secure. So each have their own idea of satisfaction or fulfillment, and they allow this idea to move them toward a search of a better or more meaningful life. As long as their movement is predicated by an idea, they subject themselves to a world of ups and downs, good and bad, right and wrong and usher the idea into this world along with its opposite. Because each idea can only exist if its polar opposite also exists. One's existence is dependent upon the existence of the other.

Welcome to hell on earth, because through each and everyones' participation in their own thoughts of and as something more or better, something lesser or worse must also exist. As each idea is brought into physical existence, by our continued involvement and energy in transforming the idea into a physical reality, the idea upgrades and compounds exponentially because when what is here matches the idea that we have had, what is here is overlooked, and a new idea that something more than what is here can exist replaces the old idea. So the cycle continues. For all that is created, its opposite is also created, and, in reality, are one and the same life consuming entity.