I see that my actions have largely been directed by relationships. Either moving toward or away, according to how I would like to manipulate others to do as I would have them do. Currently I see that I have been running from relationships in order to create a certain dynamic. It serves two purposes, that I see. One is to protect myself from rejection, and the other is to create an image of independence. The whole "loner" fuck you attitude.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to have started from the starting point of manipulating others in order to get what I want from them.