I have continued to stab myself in the back, because I haven't not lived as the torture of myself to satisfy the mind that has taken great pleasure in my perception of agony. I have not stood up because I have not raped myself enough to satisy the empty hole that I have allowed myself to become. I have not given a flying fuck about anything or anybody but my own perception of myself. To exist as greater than all of existence has held my attention and my every move has been from this starting point. No, my life has not been of oneness and equality, no not an iota of oneness and equality has ever even been considered, because I have held onto my own self importance over all of existence.
So I declare here that yes, I have had enough. We have suffered enough because of my self promoting agenda. No, I am not sorry. I do not accept myself as being sorry. I do not accept myself as self preservation. I do not accept myself as a raping, plundering back stabbing manifestion within this world. I stand here for oneness and equality. I am not happy. I am not sad. I do not accept myself as happy or sad because neither stand as oneness and equality. I do not accept myself as anything that cannot stand as oneness and equality. I do not accept others to accept me, other than from the starting point of oneness and equality.
Tall words, and absolutely meaningless without application. I do not accept myself as hoping that I can live up to the words I speak because hoping is not of oneness and equality and from a starting point of saving face and cowardice. Yes, tall words I speak indeed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up when I have been able to stand as oneness and equality all along.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as believing that it is too fucking hard to stand for oneness and equality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as not dedicating myself to myself as oneness and equality.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to wait to stand until conditions were just right for me to stand.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore and not take responsibility for the suffering of the world that I myself have allowed and accepted as just the way it is.
I forgive myself that I have accepted myself as needing others to stand as oneness and equality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted myself as making any excuse available to delay standing for and as oneness and equality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be strong.
Strong is not of oneness and equality, but a manifestation of polarity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted myself as being "serious" about standing up this time.
Serious is a definition of myself and is of polarity.
I stand here as myself as oneness and equality for oneness and equality.
I am no greater or less than anything or anyone in existence. I am existence as oneness and equality.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe I need advice as how I can stand for oneness and equality.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to seek being ahead or on top of process.
I forgive myself that I have not realised that process means the process of all beings and not about the process of an individual.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to desire to look down upon individuals that do not understand process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look up to individuals as being "ahead" in process.
I forgive myself that I have judged myself as an individual being and have believed myself to be separate from anything.
There is one, and that one is me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be concerned with talking shit, so have kept quiet so I that I could remain a "man of my word."
I forgive myself that I have carefully chosen the words I speak so that I could appear as a "man of my word."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an image of reality.Ii forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear being corrected by another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted myself as allowing another as something other than oneness and equality, so as not to disturb their happy little illusion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that bliss is of oneness and equality.
If we are one, how can bliss exist in this attrocity we have created?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can exist outside the suffering of the world.
I forgive myself that I have not realised that I am the suffering of the world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted myself to look for a way out of this suffering so that I may live oblivious to the suffering of the world.
I am the world and the world is me and we suffer together as long as any suffer.