Tuesday, August 26, 2008

There is a lingering feeling of sadness that attempts to pull me away from who I am here. To separate me from this sadness. It is in the moments that I can accept this sadness as one and equal with who I am that sadness dissipates into an acceptance of myself as I am. An intimacy with myself remains here and the freedom to move me from a point of seeing myself as all that I am. The self honest expression of who I am here. This sadness exists in my participation of wishing that we could all be honest with ourselves and one another and that we could all just drop what we believe to be true and just remain here within self honesty. But this can never happen as long as I participate in this running after some greater existence. For how could I ever be truly here if I continue to chase after something that the mind can always deem as something better? That only fuels the idea that I could possibly grab hold of something greater and better than who I exist as here. This idea that I could somehow ascend to some point that all will be done and I can finally accept myself as all that I am. That can only be done here as self acceptance here within self honesty and self forgiveness. To remain here with myself as myself as all that I am here. It is not in trying to help people see their delusions. That would imply that something is wrong with what exists here. It is in remaining here as the self honest expression of who I am here. That is how I can assist and support others as myself. Self honesty here. The self honest expression of me here. Self awareness. The awareness of self honesty here in every moment. The mind bombards me from every angle imaginable so I that I may see self here in every moment. Self trust that I remain here indefinitely.
What can remain indefinitely? Unconditionally? It is undefineable. Definitions are of a concept of the mind which consists of thoughts. Thoughts come and go and therefore exist conditionally. Emotions come and go just the same, and have never existed here unconditionally. If it something that must be obtained or sought then it cannot exist unconditionally. What is unconditional is all that exists here always unchanging. To form an idea or opinion or thought is of a temporary nature and is not of the unconditional. The feelings and emotions that come and go are conditional. If it can be turned on then it can be turned off. Engaging in temporal things is to engage in all that is not of the unconditional nature of self. It is in being what one is and always has been. Energy of any sort is conditional. Energy depletes and is finite. Who self exists as here is unconditional, no matter who or what self is.

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