Thursday, August 21, 2008

Those who have already decided to believe in what constitutes truth have chosen to filter out what does not fit in with their idea of truth. From this point, one can never see. One only looks through their own scope of vision to base their entire existence upon what they choose to view. How does this affect me? A frustration desires to emerge and manifest as controversy and rebellion. To attempt to wake people up, and to somehow find a way to illustrate the deception that they have directed at themselves. The overwhelming majority hasn't even one iota of truth within, for they have chosen to believe in consensus knowledge as gospel. The only basis for their perceived truth is that other people have said that it is the truth. So they have gone about their lives in an attempt to prove to themselves that what they have believed is true, instead of seeing for themselves that they exist as complete and utter self deception. For the fear of seeing who they exist as here keeps them enslaved to the ideas that they have based their entire lives around. To see oneself is to admit that everything that one has done has been based upon lies and deception. It is the fear of realising that self has chosen lies over self honesty. People would rather be "right", than see themselves honestly. They choose to tell themselves what they would like to hear, rather than what actually is.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist as and within frustration that people fear seeing themselves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as if I need to show people that they exist entirely within and as self deception.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel helpless and powerless to illustrate peoples' deception of themselves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is very unlikely for people to stand up as themselves within and as self honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in the minority for standing as myself within and as self honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive my existence here as a struggle to spread truth to the masses.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted myself as who I exist as here in every moment of every breath.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that it is not about what other people do, but only about who I am here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as if I am not already here as all that I can ever possibly be here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my existence here as either closer or farther away from an idea of some higher truth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be getting closer to self realisation, as if self realisation is some point that one finally reaches and becomes some sort of enlightened being.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive Bernard as some sort of higher being, and that one day I can be such a being through some sort of process of becoming interdimensional.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive interdimensionality as some sort of attainment or degree of self honesty and self realisation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as 'less than' until I become aware of existence interdimensionally.
I am here as I embrace my existence as who I am here.

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