Saturday, August 9, 2008

Talked with Amber today about the my "path". Being understood by those that have been in my life, or those who apparently know "me", used to be so important to me. It has been fear of being alone in this existence that this desire of being understood has been so extensively sought. Obtaining security of some sort, so that I can feel as if I am not alone in this process of realising myself. But of course this line of action is nothing but continued dependency to not stand as myself in every moment; relying on a certain set of conditions that seemingly make it easier to stand as myself. It is in these relationships that we hold so dear, the things we fear losing the most that keep us bound to this existence of and as separation from all that we are.
There is a lingering idea that "things would be so nice when..." Yet this never happens when these ideas are entertained. Some past or future event that takes us away from who we are here. Something better than here has always been what has kept us enslaved by the continuous pursuit of what we deem as more than or a better off scenario than what is here. It is here that we exist, and if we choose to look at things that do not exist here, then we choose illusion and deception as our existence. It is admitting that who we exist as here is not enough. That somewhere else is where we will finally be complete. Common sense shows us that this is utter nonsense. This is what breeds this world of polarity. This striving to become something greater than who we have always been, and who we will always be.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist in separation of myself by choosing to view here as less that what could be.
I forgive myself that I have chosen to see here as something that must be escaped out of fear of remaining here as all that I am here.
Here is the opportunity to stand and remain here as all that I am and have become through my partcipation in pursuing some illusion of a greater existence.
Here is what I exist as here. This is the constant. This is all that can remain indefinitely. I embrace what is here. I am here.

No comments: