It is incredible the amount of bullshit within me. All that I've allowed myself to exist as. Generally speaking, it has been the definition of myself as less than what could be. Not taking into consideration myself here, but looking at an idea of a grander self, and a grander world. It has totally become me. So much so, that it is an automatic response within almost every situation. It is a staggering revelation to realize that it is an actual physical manifestation. That nothing within me, that I have become, is of any value. That I, physically must remain here within the physical, as the manifested physical reality that I have allowed from myself. To see who I have become, and to no longer allow any participation in that which has gotten me to this point through what I have allowed of myself. Which is the definition of self as something in relation to a definition.
Physically, I have become the expression of a definition of self, and that is as real as I am. Not really existing, except for within a definition of existence. Not existence itself; but a definition of existence, indefinitely, for as long as I participate from within and as the manifested definition of self as actual self.
To forsake all that I have become, because there is not an iota of reality within that definition of the physical as the physical.
I have talked of this, but have not been heard, only because those who are listening are not willing to see that they, themselves, are participating within and as this illusion, as a physically manifested expression of non-existence/illusion. It is not even a consideration because within and as their involvement of and as illusion, they continue to believe themselves to be the illusion that has been created by and as themselves to be real. Not seeing the implied reality within following an assumption that what they believe is reality and the only reality worthy of consideration. The expression of self as a self-eradication. The reality being that they are the physical expression of self-deceit and illusion. Self removing self from existence, because they would rather continue existence within and as the manifested illusion, rather than realizing that they have become the process that removes all that is real from within self, until nothing real remains existing within and as self.
Talk of this, or even hinting at the possibility that they currently only exist as an illusion is seen as lunacy, because within and as the existence of self as illusion, reality represents lunacy. Reality will not make sense to those who believe illusion to be reality; and to speak of reality will be seen as complete and utter, inconceivable, craziness. Because they have been completely integrated into and as the illusion, thus can only function as that illusion.
It is to see self-here and to not participate in anything that self has participated in that has manifested self as the existent illusion that self has become. A self-honest illusion, letting go of self as the definition of self that has been clung to. Because to the illusion, only that which consists of the illusion is seen as real.
The reality in this is that self has not yet proven that self is real, and that self has allowed thoughts, beliefs, and ideas to have jurisdiction and dominion over what is actually here.
Within all of this, I see that much of what I say or express will likely be viewed as non-sense, and will be discounted as delusions and beliefs that I have assumed are true. That because if I express self-honesty as who I am here to a being that is aligned with the idea that their thoughts and beliefs are actually what is real, then the relationships that I have kept will disintegrate, because relationship cannot be sustained, because within self-honesty, I can no longer allow myself to acknowledge an illusion as reality. This has already begun, because what I have expressed to some has challenged their current perspective of themselves and the world around us.
Reality can never be realized within the limitations of basing an experience upon acquired knowledge, because knowledge is based upon the past, which is not a direct experience/expression of what is here, but is only based upon an assumption that what is believed to be true must be true. Of course, the only way to know the truth is to be one and equal to the truth, of which there is no space within truth that deception can exist.
Beliefs do not make or unmake reality, they are simply beliefs, that have no influence upon the actuality of a given moment. It is a mere imagination, and nothing of an illusion can ever exist within that which is real. One percent illusion within 99 percent reality still equals 100 percent illusion.