Thursday, August 20, 2009

There is a distinct possibility that I am resisting seeing an important point, because I find myself not very specific in the ways that I am assisting and supporting oneness and equality. As if I have overlooked the obvious. Or maybe I have underestimated what it takes for me to become effective. I have not yet stood here as myself for longer than a few moments. Not really standing but, being here as the breath for a few moments, and it has been back into my mind until I realize that I am in my mind again. So, I can't be more effective within this world than I am with myself, since I am one and the same as the world itself.

There is still an underlying selfishness within, because I have not yet been able to give of myself unconditionally. Somehow, I have been holding myself back. I have not yet unconditionally expressed myself, but only expressed who I am when, I have felt comfortable with the probable outcome of self-expression. So I have been hanging onto the life that I have manifested for myself, because what has been manifest, I have not been willing to completely part with. I have thus far proven that I cannot yet be trusted with life, because I have not yet allowed life to expand within and as me.

Instead, I have followed rules and limitations according to my thoughts and beliefs of what I should do in order to achieve the results that I have been looking for. I have put my trust in thought to explain to me who I am. Which is absolutely preposterous, because who I am within self-honesty is that in which I express without any reservations or limiting belief systems of right or wrong. I am already me, and there is nothing to find or omit, because I already exist. Censoring myself is absolute self-deception because it only suppresses who I actually am. How can I not be who I am? If who I am tries to become more than who I am already, it is self-abuse, because within this practice, I state to myself that I do not accept myself as who I am, and that I want something more. I can never be more than who I am. That is but an idea. Ideas do not tell me who I am, they only distract from who I actually am within action. Being me, expressing myself is already who I am, and needs not an explanation or definition. Self is self-explanatory, it is who I am, what I express, how I express. Just me here. The expression that I wear. Can I ever not express who I am? I express myself under all conditions. I only need be aware that I am that I am. I express me in every moment. I only need see. That which I see is me. That which I do is me. Everything that is or will ever be.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"that which I see is me"

Led me here, After staring in the mirror.

That must sound odd, huh. I have been pondering what reality is and somehow that led me here.

Not that it means anything, just interesting.