I am continuously participating within and as this world according to what I allow from myself. My experience of myself has been based upon thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions to explain the world around me. In essence, self has been missing within the experience. By allowing my thoughts to explain me and my experience, I have missed me altogether, and instead have believed what my thoughts have told me about reality.
An explanation is but a representation or description of reality, and not reality in fact. It is only a description handed down by an interpreter. To believe that an interpreter can sufficiently describe reality is ludicrous. Yet, I have bought into the idea that I am blind, and must look to an interpreter to explain the world and myself to me.
Maybe more than anything is the belief that I need something. An incessant sales pitch, describing a better me, a better world, a better experience, a better existence. All of which, are paths away from me, here. It isn't that I ever actually leave here, but it has been the belief that I am getting somewhere away from here. The proverbial carrot on a stick, which proves only to promote more seeking, and seeking to maintain status.
The pitch goes something like this: "If you want to remain here forever, then follow me. Or if you don't want to remain here forever, then follow me." It is an illusion that something beyond self will ever exist, just as the prospects of escaping self will ever occur. They are two sides of the same illusion. Self exists here, there is nothing more or nothing less, nor will there ever be.
Self IS here, unexplainable, undefinable, simply here. Existence entirely, absolutely, indisputably.