Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A point that is in my face almost everyday is seeing my cousin and his household. The entire family is getting progressively more violent and whiny. He or Cindy do not realize how they are creating chaos in their handling of the situations that plague them. For instance, attempting to correct a child for hitting a sibling, by hitting the child. This illustrates to a child that hitting is a preferred and effective method in which to (resolve a problem/get what is wanted.) So, quite naturally, the frequency of hitting is increased within the family.

What I am faced with is a situation that cannot change because, they are not willing to see or hear that they are the very cause of the chaos that thrives within their family. Their belief that they are living according to God's will, blinds them from the awareness of the situation, and how they CULTivate the ever increasing madness that thrives within their family construct.

The desire that I have for them to see that they are the primary cause of their children becoming more violent and abusive, supports this continued existence as myself.
This is a major point within me. Looking on from the outside, self-defined, as having 'no effect' or as 'losing the battle' separates me from the situation, and ensures that I cannot be effective because I have seen myself as 'powerless' within the situation. This breeds frustration within me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to always have an idea of a better situation than here, which only supports that a 'less than' situation/condition continues existing as myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to shake my head and tell myself how fucked up they are, instead of realizing that I have separated myself from them by defining me as less fucked up, and them as more fucked up. We are all fucked up equally, and only by me standing within and as them that anything will ever be different.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump at the opportunity to define all of the ways that they are fucked up, pointing out the problems, instead of living and realizing that I am already the solution by remaining here within and as the solution as myself as all that I am within self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at how ridiculous they are, as separate from them, placing myself above them and not realizing that it is oneness and equality as myself as us that I am effective in stopping all abuse.

No comments: