I wrote Shauna an email, and what came out of it was a placement of an agreement with myself that I accept myself for all that I am within self-honesty. I have had so many ideas of her as the most perfect person on earth. A commodity that one needs to trap and contain within a box of a relationship.
Perhaps continuous contact with her would facilitate myself to remain self-dishonest, which is unacceptable. I see that anything and everything supports me to stand as the self-honest expression of myself here. What she chooses is of no relevance to who I am here. How I had come to place an agreement in front of her was but myself expressing myself here as all that I exist as here. Whether or not she is willing to assist herself as the self-honest expression of herself as all as one as equal is largely an unknown, and yet another opportunity to prove to myself that I am able to trust in self here unconditionally.
I have been gone for so long, and I welcome myself to remain here. Thoughts of future outcomes are not welcome here. I am here. It is nice to be here within acceptance of all that I am here.