Monday, July 27, 2009

This being that I've become is driven by wants, needs, beliefs, feelings and emotions. In particular, beliefs are taken and made to prove that my belief is valid. It is a limitation on what is actually true. As a simple example, one may believe that hugging a rock is the best way to climb, and is the only valid method of climbing. Because a person has been successful using the method of hugging the rock to complete a route, it is not even considered that there may be a more efficient method. This leads to more beliefs, such as, the reason a route cannot be completed is because there are not sufficient handholds, and because it is not even considered that maybe the methods employed are flawed or less than ideal.

This same basic structure of belief is how I have become so limited to self-imposed rules and boundaries in this existence. By taking for granted that what I believe is true, I limit myself to those beliefs, and act within the rules of that belief system.

Some beliefs that pop up for instance is the belief that I know better than most people. Or the belief that I need to know, or that there is something out there that still needs to be figured out. They are old habits, and they give me a sense of security to cling to my old ways. It is scary to drop my beliefs, because without them, what do I know? It is the belief that I will not know how to move or where to go next. In this, there is no trust in self movement, but instead my trust is placed in what I think I know.

Knowing is when beliefs and thoughts are not here. It is instantaneously here. This instant, what do I know?... Nothing that has to be explained or figured out, or anything that I have to tell myself, for what I actually know is lived and not calculated; nor is it something that can be clung to. It is here as myself as I express myself here. Knowing and unknowing is really just the same thing: awareness.

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