Talked to my brother, Forrest, today. We are realizing the same things about ourselves, and how we have created our situations. It was surprising to me that he actually sees some of the same points that I have tried to explain to him earlier. However, when I tried to explain things to him before, I was explaining a concept and wasn't expressing who I was, per se, but instead trying to convince him that I was correct, or more correct than he. Points such as being goal oriented versus being self, here.
Our language differs when expressing what we mean. For instance, he uses the word 'happiness', which I tend to have an aversion to using that word to describe living here as this moment in complete acceptance of self here. 'Enjoyment' could possibly be the word that would facilitate our communication.
On the point about being goal oriented, we were also challenged in finding an appropriate expression to describe the alternative to being goal oriented and not participating in an idea of an agenda, but rather just being self here. What we were both trying to identify was that the goal is not necessarily a goal, but that certain circumstances are inevitable if self is trusted as self here.
In other words, if one is to take this moment and live here, then the things that were previously goals are forsaken, and what is here ends up including everything. Because it is realized that that in which has been sought is dependent upon an idea of satisfaction or happiness, and is conditional upon how closely it matches the idea of the 'correct outcome' of the goal in mind. So in this, one finds himself lacking nothing, and each moment is an all included welcome surprise. This enables one to enjoy each moment as it exists here, not limited by the parameters that one had previously viewed as an undesirable or desirable circumstance.
Because the circumstance cannot be controlled, nor can it be measured or defined without fragmenting self and reality.
Awareness is self here, and self is not 'known' quantifiably, but is trusted that self remains here unconditionally, not limited by an idea of what self is or should be, or by what is supposed to happen, or what should or shouldn't happen. The circumstance is simply accepted as self here, and it is from here that self directs self to remain self. In this, there is not a trying to become or to remain self, because self is already self here. Trying to become or remain what self is already, is and has been the birth of myself as fear.
Here is where self-forgiveness and self-honesty is imperative. Because when it is realized, in self-honesty, that one is participating in and as an illusion, image, or definition; that moment is the opportunity to forgive self for involvement in self-deception and to stop participating. This is remaining here unconditionally, undefined. Self allowing self to actually live.