From the perspective of who I am, I see that I have a certain placement, in that I pertain to all equally insignificantly. This, of course is a limited view, because it is seen as from within a construct of time. In this world I have equated others that make a difference of great magnitude in a short amount of time of having great impact upon the world. Therefore giving more worth to those that actually appear to be making a noticeable difference.
As far as I see, I make subtle changes that have no noticeable effect upon the world, because I have seen the world from within a bubble of time, and the effect within a given time frame. I have wished to be one that is a world shaker, and it has not ever been. Because of this I have believed that I have fallen short, or that I must increase myself until the world notices me as a force to be reckoned. This has been my life long struggle. I have never embraced a behind the scenes placement, because I have not been recognized as a main player in this world. Obviously this is an ego desire or hope that I may be seen as something magnificent.
In realizing this, I have once again wanted to be recognized as one behind the scenes that does not care about being noticed. But the reality is that I have so much wanted to be be seen and noticed as a humble servant of existence. Strange as it may seem, that in which I desire may already be that in which I am, yet I have not accepted myself, because I have so wished for me to be noticed as such a being.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish to be noticed as an image of humbleness and someone that does not care for notoriety.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish to be seen as anything other than who it is that others see me as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect some reward or award because I have been who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be awed because I am who I am.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that I am who I am, and that I have not chosen this, but it is simply who I am. It is not some achievement to be me, it is just what happens to be me.